I had a question for the medical intuitive on the radio. I am not one to call into radio shows but, the muse hit and I called in. On the air, live, I asked if I could do anything energetically to recover from a long trail season. She explained that I have a running addiction... I need to find out how to feel good in my body without subjecting it to miles and miles of punishment. I mumbled pleasantries and got off the line with that phrase "running addiction" echoing about in my head and heart. Do I have an addiction? Should I tone the running down and replace it with- fill in the blank- to feel good in my body. I skipped my 10 miler for the day, went home to the family and puzzled the question some more.
The next day was a work day full of stress and thing to get done which got done as they mostly do. I ended the day by driving to Lake Union in the darkening, wet, evening and changing in my car into my running gear. I felt like I was getting on my super hero suit, my super hero Brooks running shoes, I even left the Ipod behind because I wanted to feel if this was an addict doing his drug or a runner living his freedom. I ran. I ran fast, I ran hard and I ran happy. By mile three of seven I had my answer. I am not addicted to running, I'm addicted to feeling alive. I'm addicted to the joy I feel when I'm free and burning it up around the lake, the course or on a mountain trail. I run to breath, to think with clarity, to maintain a body which can do amazing things. I run for my wife, my kids, my friends, family, parents and for people who might be looking for a way to improve themselves. I run for me, because the better I feel, the more I can give back.
I got back to my car, a recovered addict. I had that familiar rush of endorphins and excitement post run, gave a whoo to the rearview mirror, took a swig of water and put that question to rest.